Good morning and welcome back to Creative Parenting Club.
This week on CPC, we’re publishing a new interview with Berlin-based musician, singer, saxophonist, and maker Jessie Evans.
For more than two decades, Jessie has worked in music, spending years touring extensively around the world. Over time, and especially after becoming a parent, the balance between life on the road and life at home began to shift.
In this interview, Jessie talks about making art with limited time and how parenthood has reshaped her relationship with work, alongside creative frustration, financial uncertainty, and learning patience with her children in a much more constrained rhythm of life.
Press play up top to listen to this week’s full podcast with Jessie, or keep scrolling for the text version below.
If you haven’t yet checked out our latest episode of the Creative Parenting Podcast with Christ Burstein, also known as Los Cabra, DJ, music producer, and founder of the Friction Department, you can find it here:
Thank you for reading and for being part of Creative Parenting Club.
[CPC]
Welcome to the Creative Parenting Club, Jessie.
[Jessie]
Thank you. Hello.
[CPC]
Jessie, let’s start with where you’re from and where you live now.
[Jessie]
I’m from Fort Bragg, California, in Northern California. I’ve been outside the United States since 2004. I currently live in Berlin.
[CPC]
How many kids do you have, and how old are they?
[Jessie]
I have two daughters, Ella, who is eleven, and Rubi, who is six. And my stepson, Liam, who is almost fourteen. They’re very special.
[CPC]
For people who don’t know you, what do you do professionally?
[Jessie]
I’m a musician. I’m a singer and a saxophonist. I also make dolls and other creative things. I’ve been doing music professionally for about twenty years. I used to tour a lot, mostly in Europe. Then I moved to Brazil and stopped touring so much because my kids were young. I’m coming out of that phase now and getting back into my rhythm.
[CPC]
That’s a special moment, getting back into the groove.
[Jessie]
It’s exciting and overwhelming. In the last ten years, a lot has changed in the music industry. Dmitry and I both took about a decade to raise our children. We never stopped working. I wrote over a hundred songs with different producers, but I haven’t played as much. Things changed, but when you know who you are and what you’re doing, you stay on your path and work it out.
[CPC]
A lot changed on the digital side, but the live experience didn’t change that much.
[Jessie]
Having kids changed everything. When they were in preschool in Brazil, there was flexibility. During the pandemic, when my second daughter was four months old, I toured Mexico and California for seven months. I did sixteen shows across Mexico by bus, staying on people’s couches. No one cared if kids missed school. Now my second daughter is in the German school system, and it’s illegal for her to miss school.
That realization hit slowly. I made most of my money from live shows. Now I can’t tour the same way. To afford childcare or to bring kids along, you need a certain level of success, and I’m not there yet. That’s been stressful, figuring out how to navigate it.
[CPC]
You also make dolls. Tell me about that.
[Jessie]
The first doll I made was for my daughter Elladina for her second birthday. I couldn’t find a black doll for her, so I decided to make one myself. I posted it online, and people asked if they could buy one. I was a single mom, so I started making them. I feel very passionate about it, but it’s mostly something I enjoy doing for my kids.
[CPC]
Maybe that’s your thing.
[Jessie]
It’s one of my things. It takes too much time to be worth the money. But now we have a gallery space below our place in Berlin. It feels like a gift. I have a space to make my crafts, sell them, and invite other artists, even though I have very little free time.
[CPC]
What is creativity for you?
[Jessie]
Creativity is hashing things out. Having ideas, inspiration, and making things. I’m a hyper-creative person. I can’t stop. That’s been extremely challenging with kids because when you make a child, they become your life work. Everything else goes on the back burner, which is excruciating at times.
I haven’t been able to work as much on my music or tour. People warned me that kids slow you down. I didn’t want to hear it because I wanted them so badly. I’m grateful I have them. I love them.
Being an artist is about reflecting the world. Receiving inspiration and responding to a calling to create. Putting something out with honesty and sincerity. Being honest is the most important thing.
[CPC]
What role does creativity play in your life?
[Jessie]
It’s the main thing. I love making things, and I feel depressed when I don’t have time for my work. I’m a songwriter above all, and playing saxophone is important to me. I try to play every day. Dancing matters. Making costumes, dolls, stuffed animals, all of it is part of my creativity.
Before kids, I worked eighteen hours a day, sometimes for months. When you live from music and don’t have a day job, it’s a beautiful lifestyle.
Now I can’t work at night because I have to wake up early for school. I’m more nocturnal creatively. Daytime is for logistics and maintenance. By night, I’m exhausted. That’s been a challenge.
[CPC]
How do you incorporate creativity into your family life?
[Jessie]
We have a lot of instruments. I’ve been trying to get the kids into lessons. Rubi is drawn to piano and has a keyboard. Elladina is taking drum lessons and joined a band. I’m proud because my mom was a drummer and my little brother is a drummer, so she’s carrying on the family tradition.
We try to bring the kids to concerts. Being in Berlin is great because many artists come through. We took them to see Iggy Pop, Lauryn Hill, Pauline Black. Rubi loves drawing, so I draw with her. My kids are very artistic.
[CPC]
How do you find time for creativity while balancing family life?
[Jessie]
It’s difficult. It can’t be one hundred percent for everything. You have to go little by little. I accepted that I can’t put in the same energy as before. I haven’t been able to sit down and write music for over two years.
I focused more on visuals and promotion. You find time when you can and accept that you won’t have as much time as you want. You keep moving forward and stop beating yourself up.
I felt guilty for a long time because my output slowed down. I chose to have children. I’m happy they’re here. I feel like I won the lottery with my kids. I move forward by dedicating a little time, even if it’s little.
I can’t check all the boxes every day. They need my time, and that has to be a priority. It’s patience, surrender, and balance. If you give enough time to one thing, you fail somewhere else. But you can’t fail the kids every day. Some days I miss deadlines for them. Other days I give them time and don’t work. That’s how it goes.
[CPC]
Being aware of this new reality and organizing it helps carve out time.
[Jessie]
That’s been hard. Dmitry and I realized we probably have ADHD. Our older kids are diagnosed and neurodivergent. When you’re single and don’t have a set schedule, focus is easier. With kids, it’s overwhelming.
I was never good at scheduling. Now others depend on me for their schedule. Especially with girls. Going out means getting myself ready and doing their hair. They’re very particular. I never calculated how much time this takes.
[CPC]
Did becoming a parent change your relationship with money?
[Jessie]
I’m still a struggling artist. Now I hustle harder. Being single and broke is manageable. With kids, it’s not sustainable.
I work hard to promote my music and reach financial security, which I’ve never had. I had kids before financial stability. In a way, that was a mistake. But I was thirty-five with my first and forty-one with my second. That was the moment.
It’s hard because I haven’t reached the stability or recognition I need. I’m creatively frustrated, and the kids feel it. But I show them that I follow my dreams and don’t give up.
[CPC]
And also, I think the concept of financial stability, especially for artists, is kind of a utopia, right? It’s part of the deal when you sign up to be an artist. And I think, in general, it’s part of the gig to deal with financial instability.
[Jessie]
I realized early that working for others wasn’t for me. I had many jobs and was fired from almost all of them. When I moved to Europe, I started making money with music. Musicians were respected. Even playing squats, we had food, a place to sleep, and better pay.
Now it’s overwhelming figuring out how to support myself. I don’t see myself working for others, especially with kids. It would compromise my time with them. I want to make this work. I know I can. I won’t give up.
It’s hard being in midlife without the stability you imagined. But the path isn’t over. Having kids was my decision. I wanted them. They can be part of my path. It will take longer. We’re still here.
[CPC]
What does success mean to you?
[Jessie]
Success is expressing yourself in the world. Making art that’s received. Being part of a community. Being heard. Giving something back.
[CPC]
How do you measure success?
[Jessie]
I’ve had a successful life. I lived on my terms. I toured the world. I did it my way. I can’t complain. Many peers gave up or were forced into jobs they hate.
I think being successful means you’re happy. Joy is a measure of success. If you’re fulfilled, you’re successful.
I still feel in obscurity. Each new album is a seed. Even success can be followed by failure. I want to play again. Not thirty shows in a row, not now. I want my music heard. I want freedom of movement and to support my kids.
Motherhood brought creative frustration, especially as a single mother. I moved to Ubatuba so my kids could grow up by the beach. It was good for years. Then I got bored and frustrated. After my house flooded, I knew it was time to return to the city. That showed me my path was valid.
[CPC]
What is one regret you have about having kids?
[Jessie]
My main regret is creative frustration. I can’t stay up all night working. I’m chained to the school system in Germany. I cried after bringing Rubi to her first day of school. It felt like sending her to the wolves. Seeing what my older daughter experienced, including racism, was terrifying. She’s handling it well, but the schedule is hard.
Waking up early, the stress, the fear of being late. The nonstop rat wheel. Dropping them off, picking them up. The schedule inhibits my creativity and my ability to function.
I don’t really believe in regret. If I had hustled harder when I was younger, maybe I’d have more stability. But I worked hard. It is what it is.
Since having kids, my songwriting has become deeper. I’m wiser. Suffering built my character.
I regret moments when I yelled. During the pandemic, I lost my calm. I didn’t know my daughter was neurodivergent. I screamed sometimes. I regret that. We are healing. I am getting more patient in time.
[CPC]
What do you need to work on in yourself in family life?
[Jessie]
Being patient. Being present. Not being on my phone. Giving my time sincerely. Making sure we have time together every day.
[CPC]
If your kids could learn one thing, what would it be?
[Jessie]
Kindness. Manners. Being polite. Saying hello. Leaving places better than you found them. Helping others. Giving back, not just taking.
I want them to be creative. Discipline with instruments is hard. I wasn’t disciplined either. I found my instrument late. I try, even though I struggle with discipline myself.
It’s the biggest struggle for me, the mess. I’m very messy, but I’m constantly trying to clean, and then they’re super messy, and I get so frustrated. But then they have no example to lead them.
[CPC]
Yeah, totally. Jessie, to end on a high note. What are you proud of in your family life?
[Jessie]
I feel proud that I have a pretty cool relationship with my kids. We enjoy each other’s company and have a lot in common. I’m learning to be more patient and surrendering to this period I’m in.
I’m letting go of frustration about my career. It’s turning into surrender and a new hope. Being given this space feels like a gift from the universe. You are an artist and you need a space to create.
Instead of feeling desperate to be out in the world, touring and taking part in culture, I have a space below my house where I can still take part. I’m proud I received it because I know I deserve it. I am a real artist and I need that.
Now I can dedicate this time to my kids while they are still young, without expecting to go on long tours.
[CPC]
Thank you, Jessie.
[Jessie]
Thank you for having me.
Have you ever, like Jessie, gone out of your way to do something special for your kid, just so they’d feel like they truly belonged?
We’d love to hear your experience in the comments.
Share your story with us. If you’d like to be featured in one of our Creative Parenting profiles, or know someone who might, feel free to reach out.
More conversations coming soon.
Until then, we’re glad to be walking this alongside you.
